Always Starting Over
by AshMichele
Summary: Rachel is in NYC living her dream staring in Funny Girl. Now that Shelby is also in New York, will they get the mother/daughter relationship they both always wanted?
1. Chapter 1

**I don't know if anyone ever reads these fics anymore, but I really wanted to write one! I miss Shelby/Rachel moments, so here you go.**

"She's the star of Broadway's hit new revival Funny Girl, please welcome Rachel Berry!"

Rachel stepped out onto the stage of the Ellen DeGeneres show, praying to God she wouldn't trip as she made her way to the infamous red chairs in the center. It felt crazy to her that everything was happening so quickly. It's been a year since she moved to New York, and she was starting her sophomore year as a part-time student at NYADA, all while playing the lead role of her dreams in the biggest show currently on Broadway.

When she got the call asking if she could fly out to LA to make an appearance and sing on The Ellen Show, all she could get out on the phone was a stuttered "y-yes" and "th-thank you s-s-so much". She now laughs at how crazy she must have sounded, but at the time it was definitely embarrassing.

She greets Ellen with a brief hug and lowers herself into her chair, beaming her thousand-watt smile at the clapping crowd as she looks around taking the moment in. She felt so pretty in her short, black, lace dress that hugged her body so perfectly. Her side bangs swooped over her fake eyelashes, hair in long and loose waves.

There were three cameras and she didn't know which one to look at, so she turned to face Ellen while the crowd's applause died down. "We're so excited to have you," Ellen announced.

"I'm so excited to be here! This is a dream come true, I've been practicing for this moment at home with my dads since I could talk," Rachel laughed.

Ellen stared at the diva in a 'that's creepy, but I like you' kind of way, which made the audience erupt in laughter. "And is it everything you ever thought it would be?"

Rachel ran her hands up and down the arms of the chair. "Yes but I'm a little more nervous than I anticipated!"

"You can't be nervous," Ellen explained. "You're taking the world by storm right now, performing eight shows a week and the reviews are extraordinary. Is it true that you're also a student at NYADA?"

"Yes, it's true," Rachel replied. "But I'm no longer a full-time student, I'm just taking a few classes. I promised my parents I would get my degree, plus the classes are mostly in dance, which is sadly my weakest talent so I need all the help I can get."

"And you're only how old?" Ellen questioned.

"I'm 19, I'll be 20 in four months." People started clapping at this. Rachel looked out into the audience to see some shocked expressions. Tears welled up in her eyes at the fact that this moment was actually happening. She had adoring fans, and people who actually loved her. This was worth all of the torture she endured in high school.

As if reading her mind, Ellen began, "So you're originally from a small town in Ohio and moved to New York for college. What do people back home have to say about your success?"

Rachel cleared her throat and looked down before saying, "I actually haven't spoken to many people from home other than my dads, of course, and kids who were in glee club with me. Being from a small town, a lot of people didn't understand how someone could care more about singing than sports. They punished others for being 'different', but in the end it has only made me stronger and fight harder for what I wanted." She stopped speaking to let the audiences' clapping filter out. "My dads and glee club friends are ecstatic for me, though. I really couldn't be happier!"

"And you have two gay dads?"

"Yes, they scanned potential surrogates based on beauty and IQ, mixed their sperm together and here I am!" Rachel replied, with pride. "It's actually really cool because gay couples will approach me at the stage door after a show with their children and say that it makes them happy that I'm showing the world that a child of two gay parents can turn out okay contrary to what people might say. It's an honor."

Rachel's shoulders loosened up as she was beginning to become more comfortable on the show. Just as she crossed her legs and relaxed in her chair, Ellen asked something that hit her like a ton of bricks. "Are you in touch with the surrogate?"

A few seconds of silence almost seemed like an eternity. Rachel searched for the right answer to the question. She knew this would come up eventually, but nothing could have prepared her for this feeling. Her heart hurt every time she thought of Shelby. She was angry, sad, and hurt all at the same time. Her mother didn't want to have a relationship with her, but adopted Quinn's baby instead. It wasn't fair, and she just wanted to understand why.

"I've met her," she finally began. "I've seen her a few times since then. She's amazing, actually. I get most of my gift from her; neither of my dads can carry a tune. But here's an exclusive secret, you guys can't tell anyone."

Rachel doesn't know how she's forcing a smile and playing it so cool, but the audience looked intrigued to find out what she was going to say next so she continued. "She's actually better than me."

Ellen gasped dramatically, and everyone (including Rachel) laughed at the clear sarcasm. "Don't worry, none of us, or the millions of viewers watching this show right now, will tell anyone that someone is actually a better singer than you!"

A blush formed on Rachel's face. "I guess I'm lucky I got so much of her genes. She's the reason for my theatricality, voice, and drive. So in a way, even though she's not in my life as much as I wish she'd be, I owe this success to her."

"Good, because I hear you're going to sing for us today?!"

Rachel sighed in relief at the sudden change of subject. "Yes!"

"Stay tuned, and after the break Rachel's going to perform a song from her show!" People cheered and the show faded to commercial.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the country in New York City, Shelby Corcoran was staring at the TV, mouth hung open.

**Let me know if you guys like it! Or if you guys even read these anymore, I'm scared no one does! Review so I know anyone is reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you to the two people who reviewed! I know people don't read these kinds of stories anymore, so the fact that two people are makes it worth it to continue! Also, I never thought of this before, but let's just pretend that Ellen is live, even though I know it isn't. Haha.**

The sounds of the commercials on the screen were ringing in Shelby's ears. It was Friday afternoon, and she had taken the second half of the day off upon hearing of Rachel's appearance on Ellen. She wanted to be home to watch her daughter's television talk show debut with full attention. Her youngest daughter was still at her Broadway daycare studio, and was to be picked up once the show ended.

The show came back on, and Ellen announced that Rachel was going to be singing "My Man" from Funny Girl. Shelby turned the volume on the television up almost involuntarily as Rachel's face appeared on the screen. She was standing behind a microphone stand, full orchestra in the background.

Shelby was so eager to hear her daughter sing for the first time in a long time. Rachel's voice was like a drug to her. She couldn't get enough of it, and it made her so proud, even though she knew she didn't exactly have a right to be. As Rachel said on the show, the only thing Shelby had ever really given to help with her success was genetics. Of course, there was that time she helped Rachel with her audition (which happened to be the last time she had seen her daughter), but it's nothing compared to all the younger girl had accomplished for herself.

God, the last time she saw her daughter…there aren't enough words to describe the happiness. Rachel seemed to be ecstatic to see her, despite all that had happened in the past. She just looked at Shelby with such child-like adoration, and even initiated both hugs that occurred that day. Shelby puts up such a hard exterior (she had to as a national champion Glee club coach), but nothing makes her melt more than her eldest daughter's affection. She can say the same about Beth's, but something about Rachel's was different because it was so limited. She could count on one hand the number of times she's gotten to hold her daughter in the past nineteen, almost twenty, years of her lifetime: each were sacred.

The sound of the song beginning ripped Shelby abruptly away from her racing thoughts. Rachel began to sing and the former coach stared, mesmerized. Her baby girl was so talented. Before she knew it, she felt a pool of tears well up and spill out from her eyes. The high notes sent chills all down her body, and the song ended far sooner than Shelby would have liked it to. It was a rare occasion for Shelby Corcoran to shed a tear, but she found herself sitting on the couch, face buried in her hands. She was sobbing, as a flood of emotions from her past came back to her. They always seemed to find her. There would never be an escape.

This was the last straw. Nineteen years was long enough. This was the year she was going to finally reconnect with her daughter the way she always dreamed she would. She had beat around the bush for too long, perhaps confusing Rachel more than anything. What kind of coward walks away from their daughter after actively trying to get her back? Even worse, Rachel's acceptance into NYADA was the deciding point in Shelby's decision to move back to NYC and start up her business in the first place; yet, over a year had passed and she had seen her daughter one time. Things were going to change.

Standing from the couch, she wiped her eyes and made her way over to her cell phone to call the only person who knew anything about her situation: Cassandra July. Cassie had been an old friend from when she lived in NYC before; the only difference is that she had made it onto Broadway. Shelby had not. Of course, Cassie's Broadway career ended soon after it started, but it was fate that she would later become Rachel's professor in college.

Shelby made sure Cassie looked out for Rachel, from getting away from Brody to helping her make it to the big stage. She was not fond of the dance teacher's harsh treatment towards Rachel to get her where she needed to be, but she knew if roles were reversed she would be the same way. The two women were so similar in their teaching methods because they knew first hand how to create a star. Shelby had to admit that the teacher-student relationship made her jealous. She wanted to be the one to see Rachel three times a week. She wanted to train Rachel and praise her and help her make it big. Regardless, she knew she couldn't complain and was grateful for her best friend.

She hit Cassie's name in the recent calls section of her phone and waited, praying her friend would pick up. Luckily, she did on the second ring. "Hello?"

"Cassie…please tell me you were watching."

There was a pause. "I was...you okay?"

Shelby thought for a moment. "I think so," she began. "I'm more shocked than anything. I don't know what to think. I never even dreamed of coming up in the conversation, and the things she said…I have to see her, Cas. I can't keep avoiding her. Even if it's selfish and she doesn't need me, or want me in her life, I have to talk to her." At this point, she was choking back tears.

"I know," Cassandra soothed. "Did you hear what she said about you? I don't think she'd turn you away, or oppose to a relationship. Being her professor I know first hand that she DOES need you. Maybe not the way Beth needs you, but you can still be her mom."

Shelby sniffed, and wiped away her now falling tears. "How?"

"How what?"

"How do I make it happen? I don't even have the girl's phone number, and she deleted her Facebook once she started making it big. There is literally no way of contacting her unless I showed up to one of your dance classes that she's in."

Cassie thought for a moment, trying to think of a way to get the two together without it interfering with her dance class. Not that she would mind it if it were the only way, but Shelby had a lot to say to Rachel as it was without having to explain the whole 'Cassandra July is my best friend and she's been my spy since you've been at NYADA to make sure you're okay' ordeal. Then the idea hit her.

"Get a sitter for Beth, we're seeing Funny Girl tomorrow night. I have an idea."

**Let me know what you think! Sorry for so much drabble on Shelby's thoughts! Honestly her head is a scary place sometimes. I feel so bad for her, even though she's done crappy things. I still love her! Please review and let me know what you think, and what you want to happen.**


	3. Chapter 3

**I was seriously so excited by the number of reviews I got on the last chapter that I wanted to write more, so here's another chapter! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I almost cried tears of joy because of you amazing people taking your time to read this. I love you! Okay, end of my sappiness, here's the chapter…**

"Cassie, are you sure this will work?"

Cassandra simply sighed and rolled her eyes. She loved her best friend, but when it came to Rachel, the woman was so insecure that she asked a million questions and demanded so much reassurance. "Yes, Shelby. Trust me. If it doesn't, you forget that she has class with me every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

"Okay," Shelby agreed. She had butterflies in her stomach. She wanted to see Rachel's Broadway debut opening night like she promised the girl, but something always kept her from going. Deep down, she knew it was because she wasn't ready. Seeing Rachel drains her emotionally and it's mentally exhausting to have to keep her composure. Funny Girl was in a huge theater and Shelby Corcoran was not about to let so many people see her cry.

She clutched the folded piece of notebook paper in her hand, and pulled down her dress as it was riding up. It was almost identical to the one Rachel wore on Ellen, only it was purple and the sleeves were longer, falling six inches above her wrists. Still, the dress hugged her body so perfectly. She couldn't remember the last time she wore this much makeup. Being a mom to a three and a half year old and working at a daycare where she ran around all day, getting made up wasn't exactly a top priority.

She had left Beth with a sitter, one of the daycare employees, and she made her way to the theater with Cassie. Her best friend created some elaborate scheme to get Rachel's attention, and it was up in the air as to whether it would succeed or not. Shelby was to write a letter to Rachel, and give it to security to give to her. Okay, so it wasn't that elaborate and hundreds of fans did this on a weekly basis, but it gave Rachel all the contact information she needed to get ahold of Shelby without forcing the girl to do so by seeing her in person. This way, there was no pressure, and she got to see her baby girl perform.

Their tickets got scanned and they climbed the stairs to their seats in the balcony. The show started in thirty minutes, giving Shelby all the time she needed to deliver the note. The piece of paper weighed a thousand pounds as she left Cassie at their seats to seek out someone who could deliver the message. Out in the main lobby, she looked around in the midst of the many people who were piling in to see the show and buy merchandise. It was making her dizzy frantically searching for security. Finally, she spotted someone with a badge that clearly allowed for access backstage.

She jogged over to the man, not caring how dumb she probably looked doing so in a dress and heals, and tapped his shoulder to get his attention. "Excuse me."

The man stopped walking and turned to the woman attempting to get his attention. "Yes?"

"Hi, I know this sounds crazy, but I have this for Rachel Berry and I was wondering if you could deliver it to her. If not, maybe you could point me in the direction of someone who could?" Shelby realized she sounded far too desperate than she wanted to, but again, she didn't care.

The man smiled at her. "Yes, I can. Rachel loves reading stuff from her fans, and insists any and all letters or gifts get put in her dressing room."

Shelby sighed in relief. "Thank you so much." The man simply nodded and kept walking. She hoped he would really deliver the note. She didn't want to think about him simply throwing it away, so she stayed optimistic and told herself Rachel would get it.

When she got back to her seat, Cassie looked up at her waiting to see if her friend had been successful or not. Shelby only smiled a nervous smile, confirming that so far was so good, and sat down beside her. She made perfect timing, because just then the curtain arose.

All the way through the show until intermission, Shelby cursed herself for not seeing the show earlier. It was amazing, and her beautiful star had a voice that was piercing the souls of everyone in the theater. She wanted to stand up and scream, 'THAT'S MY DAUGHTER'. But first and foremost, it was inappropriate, not to mention the fact that she hardly had the right to claim Rachel as hers.

The curtain fell and lights came on to begin intermission. Shelby immediately stood and turned to her friend "Did you see her?! She was amazing! She's so beautiful! My baby is a star, she'll be nominated for the Tony's and –" she snapped her mouth shut, as she realized how loud she was being and that everyone was looking. Her excitement was also a tad out of character, as she hardly showed so much feeling unless it had to do with a role she was playing.

Cassie smirked in amusement. "Yeah, Schwimmer's pretty great."

Shelby took a second to turn on her phone to check on Beth, and was surprised to see that she had three texts. This was unusual as the only person she ever really texted was sitting right next to her.

The first was from her sitter, sending a picture of Beth holding up a toy microphone. The caption read 'mommy's mini-me', and Shelby laughed and quickly showed Cassie the precious picture.

The second was from a mother of one of the kids who just began going to the Broadway daycare. It read, "Thank you so much for creating a daycare service like you have! It really has brought Jacob out of his shell, even after just a week of going. He can't stop talking about how much fun he has!" Shelby smiled and quickly replied to the mom's text. She couldn't believe this was her life now, after so many years of chasing after a dream on Broadway; but, in all honesty she wouldn't have it any other way.

The third was from Rachel.

**Cliffhanger, and this was really short! I'm sorry, but I think you guys will really love the next chapter! I'm so excited to write it, and I'm just as anxious to get to Shelby/Rachel fluff as you are! Hang tight, it's coming. Please give constructive criticism!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for the reviews and follows! Finally we're getting somewhere with this story.**

Rachel sat in her dressing room, all made up and ready for the show to start. She checked her Twitter, reading all of the excited tweets from fans that were about to see the show. She exhaled with a smile on her face, butterflies escaping her stomach in the process. It never really got old. She loved her life, and her fans. She loved their love. Her dream came true.

Brett, the show's stage manager, knocked on the door. "Miss Berry?"

"Come in!" Rachel looked up from her phone as the man slid through the door.

"Fifteen minutes until show time," he announced. "Also I got a few fan letters for you."

He dropped six letters in front of Rachel; some had little presents inside packages. This had been a normal occurrence for the singer and sometimes she didn't know what to do with it all. It seemed sad to throw stuff away, but sometimes she had to. The least she could do was read the letters of the amazing people who kept her going every night. It still amazed her that they took such time and effort into these letters and presents just for her.

She ripped into three letters, one including a package with a gold star charm bracelet. Her fans knew her so well. She decided she didn't have time to read but one more. The rest could wait until intermission, though when she glanced at the paper in front of her she wished she wouldn't have opened it to begin with.

_Rachel,_

_I don't really have the words to begin what I have to say, but it's Shelby Corcoran. I'll cut right to the chase and say that I saw your Ellen interview. You looked beautiful as ever and sounded amazing. I supposed you know why I'm bringing it up. Baby, I love you…I don't deserve half of what you said about me, but I want you to know that it means the world to me. There are so many things I want to say to you…so many apologies and regrets that I finally think I'm ready to share with you. I realize that it might be too late, and I would understand. I've hurt you so much more than I could ever imagine and I hate myself for it. I've attached my phone number. I would really like the opportunity to talk…when you're ready. Even if that's years from now, I'll be around. Just know that I love you. SO much. I'm so proud of you. Break a leg, baby girl. I'll be in the audience watching you shine._

_Xoxo Shelby_

The familiar hurt in her heart hit her, as it always did when she thought about her mother. She didn't know why it got to her so much, but she hated it. She hated the way Shelby was her mother and not her mom. She hated how her own mother called herself by her first name as if Rachel wasn't good enough to be her daughter. She hated that she had the daughter she always wanted, but when she sought Rachel out, she wasn't good enough. Why wasn't she good enough? She had so many fans, yet thinking about her mother just made her feel worthless.

Five words in the letter stood out. _I'm so proud of you._ That's the one thing she ever wanted to hear from her mother. That, and that she loved her. Rachel loved and admired Shelby so much, and that only made the pain worse.

She didn't have time to think about whether she was going to accept Shelby's offer or not because another knock on her door from Brett ripped her away from her thoughts. "Two minutes! Time to get in place."

She sighed, and put on her best show face in the mirror. She could do this.

Except she couldn't. The whole first act deserved a Tony in itself if people only knew how distracted she was. She couldn't stop thinking about Shelby, and the fact that she was in the audience made her nervous. She wanted to impress the woman so bad, and she didn't know why. It was yet another mystery.

The first act ended and she was happy to isolate herself in the dressing room for about five minutes before she needed to get ready for the second act. Tears came as she picked up the letter again, her eyes burning a hole in the phone number attached.

Involuntarily, she picked up her phone and saved the number. The next thing she knew, she was tapping the 'message' icon and her phone was ready to compose a text. She closed her eyes, and sighed as a tear ran down her face. She bit the side of her jaw and typed. "Hey, Shelby. It's Rachel. I got your letter, and would like to take you up on your offer to talk after the show if you're not busy."

She got a reply almost instantly. "That sounds perfect. Where should we meet?"

"Wait in the theater by the stage, I'll have someone escort you backstage to my dressing room," Rachel typed. Her nerves grew. She didn't know how she could perform eight shows a week and not ever get nervous, but a small meeting with the woman who gave birth to her practically caused her heart to race 200 beats per minute.

A text back indicated that the plan was a go, and by that time the hair and makeup team burst into her dressing room to get Rachel ready for the second act. The diva was appreciative of the distraction away from the situation. She took a few deep breaths and let the team work their magic until she was ready to go, and the second act was about to begin.

She pushed through the last bit of the show with all that was in her. If anything, her performance didn't lack any emotion, as they were as intense as ever this evening. She took her bows and the curtain fell along with Rachel's smile. She couldn't fake extreme happiness anymore. She felt like she was going to throw up. She hadn't seen her mother in so long and she was about to any minute.

She quickly walked over to Brett and told him that Shelby would be by the stage once people piled out of the theater and to bring her back. She then realized she didn't have a picture of Shelby to show the man who the woman was, but how many people would stay in the theater claiming they were Shelby Corcoran?

She quickly changed out of her costume and wig, throwing on leggings and a long sleeved shirt. She threw her hair up in a bun and washed her face. She figured she had enough time to sign autographs at the stage door before Shelby arrived so she made her way outside to do so.

Rachel stayed outside probably longer than she should have. It wasn't that she was dreading the meeting, but she definitely was in no hurry to get inside. Finally she opened the stage door to go back in, and made her way to her dressing room. She cracked the door open slowly to reveal her mother sitting on the couch seeming to be as nervous as she was (which actually made her feel better).

The woman looked up with wide eyes that matched Rachel's. She stood and walked closer to the smaller girl. "Rachel," she said softly.

"Shelby," Rachel replied with the same tone.

Both women looked at each other's eyes for the longest time, not knowing what to say next. Without thinking, Shelby reached for Rachel's hand and held it in her own, not leaving her daughter's gaze.

Then, just like that after just a little touch, Rachel fell into her mother's arms. She didn't care about the awkwardness, she just wanted to be held. Not only did she want to be held, she wanted it to be by her mother. She missed Shelby so much.

At the feel of the smaller girl's arms around Shelby's waist, she didn't hesitate to wrap her own around Rachel's shoulders, allowing the girl's head to rest in her neck. She breathed in and squeezed her eyes shut taking in the moment like it was the last time it would happen.

This only caused Rachel to squeeze harder. She couldn't bring herself to let go.

**Let me know what you think! The more people that review, the more I'm inspired to write! Thank you so much for the reviews so far. I'm excited that they're finally together. After this, I don't want them to ever be apart. Haha.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I love you guys, thank you so much for reviewing. Seriously you have no idea how much it makes me smile, even if I'm going through a rough time. Plus I doubt my stories as to whether they're worth reading or not so reviews keep me going. Okay, I'll shut up, here's the chapter!**

Still tight in each other's embrace, no one wanted to be the one to break it. Instead, cheek resting upon Rachel's head, Shelby absentmindedly muttered, "my dream came true."

Rachel scrunched her face in confusion, and then pulled away from the hug but still had her hands wrapped around her mother's stomach with Shelby's around her neck. "What do you mean?" she asked, looking up at the taller woman.

"I told you," Shelby started. "My new dream was to see my incredibly beautiful daughter perform those songs…and it happened."

The tiny diva's face formed a teary-eyed smile as she yet again fell into her mother, where she fit so well. She squeezed so tight that if she weren't as in the moment as she was, she would be afraid of overstepping her boundaries with this woman that she barely knew anything about. She couldn't help that the connection was so strong. Being together, both felt a sense of comfort that could only be supplied by each other regardless of fifteen years of separation, and four more years of confusion.

Rachel finally stepped back when a thought came to mind. "Where's Beth?"

Shelby could hear the shyness in Rachel's voice, as if the three and a half year old was a sore topic. In reality, it was an unspoken agreement not to talk about that situation in fear of opening old wounds, though both knew the conversation was inevitable.

"She was with a sitter but my best friend, who actually went with me to see you tonight, agreed to stay with her until I got back so the sitter could go home," Shelby explained, not mentioning that Rachel's professor was actually her best friend. That was a conversation that could wait.

"Oh, perhaps we should do this at another time, I don't want to keep you –"

"She was glad to do it," Shelby interrupted. She didn't want Rachel to think she was being a burden when it was Shelby who reached out to her. Really it was the truth though, because in all honesty Cassie had been the one to offer and insist on going home to Beth in order to give Shelby all the time she needed.

"Oh," Rachel replied, not really knowing what to say next. "Sit," she motioned to the couch behind them. Shelby made herself comfortable on the couch (as comfortable as she could be with the given situation unfolding) as Rachel sat in front of her mother in the swivel chair that she used to get ready for her show.

Many moments of awkward silence occurred, as no one said a word. Rachel fiddled with her hands before finally speaking up. "Why?"

Shelby winced at the emotion in the girl's voice. "Why what, baby?"

"Why now? Why not before? Was it something I did?"

Shelby leaned forward and grabbed her daughter's hand in her own, using her free hand to lift Rachel's chin so that the girl could see the sincerity in her mother's eyes. "Baby, you never did anything. I was a coward, and I regret it every day…I was insecure, and afraid that you didn't need me. I adopted Beth to fill the void only to find out that it was still there. It never went away…that's why I reached out to Noah and Quinn and insisted that they know Beth. I didn't want them to end up like me, seeing your face everywhere I go. I see it everywhere: in my dreams, when I wake up in the morning, even in Beth as I fantasize what could have been. It hurts, because I'm so proud of you for all that you've done. You're such a beautiful, perfect woman and I missed out on so much. I didn't think you wanted me, Rachel. I thought you agreed about being grateful for one another from afar when you said you didn't feel it, but then you were so upset when I came to teach at McKinley…I wanted to reach out to you then, but you were so hurt…"

"Please don't cry," Rachel softly interrupted. It was barely a whisper and Shelby released her hand from Rachel's to wipe the tears running down her face that she didn't even know she had. She blinked and more released like a silent flood. Rachel reached for a tissue out of the box of them on her vanity. Shelby went to take it from her daughter, but before she could do so, Rachel was already wiping her mother's cheeks. It seemed so natural to Rachel, as if it were a natural instinct. She had done it to Quinn after her former enemy slapped her at prom, but Shelby tensed at Rachel's touch, which almost made Rachel regret doing so.

Shelby looked into Rachel's big, brown, sympathetic eyes. She didn't deserve the sympathy but her baby girl had such a big heart. This girl was her weakness. All this emotion was coming from a woman who never wears her heart on her sleeve, and here she was openly crying in front of the most important person to her.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore, Rachel. I love you so much…I just wanted you to know how I really felt. I _needed _you to know how much I love you. I didn't want to come back and reach out to you again because I was afraid that would only hurt you more, so I stayed distant; but then I saw your Ellen interview," Shelby continued.

Rachel cleared her throat in order to suppress the amount of emotion that welled up within her. "I meant what I said to Ellen. You are amazing, and I owe all of this to you for giving me your gift. You also helped me get into NYADA, and even audition for this show. Shelby, don't think you haven't done anything for me because you have and that meant something to me. I was really upset and angry and confused when I said there wasn't a place for us back in high school because I thought I wasn't good enough to be yours. You're this…talented, successful, respected woman that seemingly didn't want me, and I could tell why because who was I? I felt like a nobody. Maybe that was me being insecure too, I don't know. I could tell you were trying, though. The second you helped me with my West Side Story audition, I could tell that some part of you at least liked me or else you wouldn't want to help me. Our moments are so sacred to me where you have been there…and Shelby, you _have_ been there because those were really important moments in my life."

Shelby took a deep breath. "You mean the everything to me. I want to be there for more important moments in your life, whether you need me or not. I want to actually _know_ you. I think that's what I crave most, because I adore so much of what I have seen or do know about you and I'm dying to know more. I just hope it isn't too late."

"Shelby," Rachel sympathized, getting up to sit by her mother. She pulled her into a side hug, and Shelby rested her head on Rachel's shoulder. "It's not too late. I won't lie and say that a wall isn't up, but it can be broken down with time. I'm still a teenager, we have so many years left. I have my dads, but everyone needs a mother sometimes. I don't want to say goodbye again. I want to get to know you better. "

Shelby wiped her eyes for the last time, deciding that there would be no more tears. She raised her head from her daughter's shoulder and kissed the side of Rachel's head. "Thank you," she replied.

"You know, I thought you were tough but you're actually just a big softy," Rachel stated as-a-matter-of-factly, uplifting the mood.

Her mother laughed and gave the diva a playful shove. "Just don't tell anyone, I have an image to uphold!"

A knock on the door tore their attention from each other away. "Come in!" Rachel shouted loud enough for whoever was on the other side of the door to hear.

In came the show's stage manager. "We're closing up the theater in ten minutes."

"Okay," Rachel replied flashing him a smile. "Just give us a few more minutes and we'll be out."

Brett turned his head to the familiar woman sitting on the couch with Rachel. "I told you I'd deliver your letter!"

"I appreciate it," Shelby smiled as both she and Rachel stood up to get their things to leave.

"I'm Brett, by the way," Brett said, reaching out his hand to Shelby who shook it. "I stage manage the show and make sure this diva is always in line."

"Nice to meet you, I'm Shelby."

"Nice to meet you as well. I'll leave you two alone, I need to go lock up some doors. Be out in five, or you're locked in," Brett joked. With that, he was gone leaving Shelby and Rachel alone again.

Shelby noticed the sad frown on her daughter's face. "Do you…do you maybe want to go get ice cream or something? I know it's late, but my friend has Beth for as long as I need her to and we could talk more."

There was an instant change on Rachel's face. "I would love to."

Shelby gave Rachel and quick hug and grabbed her purse to leave.

"Also, mom, I think Brett likes you," Rachel stated walking out of the dressing room door expecting Shelby to follow. Except Shelby could not follow. Her legs froze and eyes widened at the simplicity of a three-letter-word.

**Yay, I already have the next chapter mapped out! Please let me know what you think! Reviews inspire fast writing (hint, hint). **


	6. Chapter 6

**I CAN'T WITH HOW MUCH I LOVE YOUR REVIEWS, seriously they make me smile so big. I creep on all of your pages and have read the stories written by some of you who review, and you're all so talented so it makes me tear up because you're actually taking the time to read this story! Okay, sappiness over, story time!**

After what seemed like an eternity, Shelby finally willed herself to move. She didn't want to make a big deal out of Rachel using 'the m-word' because she loved hearing it and didn't want the girl thinking she didn't. It brought goose bumps to her arms, just the same as it did the first time the name was said: the day she made Rachel's Lady Gaga outfit.

God, what a bittersweet day that had been. Shelby knew that she should leave the girl's life and let her be happy with her two loving dads, but here was her baby standing in front of her asking for help; needing _her_ help. In the end, she allowed herself to make the outfit even though she felt so selfish for confusing Rachel.

Shelby caught up to Rachel, who was flushed herself due to the slip up. It's not that she minded calling Shelby 'mom', she just didn't know how the former glee coach felt about it. She remembered feeling so embarrassed doing it the first time all those years ago. She realized how psychotic she must have sounded, calling a woman she just met 'mom' after only meeting her once. Truthfully, how she would address Shelby would be something to talk about later, but it could wait for another day. Walls still needed to be torn down, and trust that the older woman was not walking away this time needed to be established.

They made their way out of the theater, and onto Broadway. New York City had a bad reputation to be dangerous late at night, but honestly there were so many people and lights around that acted as a security blanket, especially in Time's Square, that neither of the women felt uncomfortable. Regardless, Rachel absentmindedly grabbed her mother's hand as they walked. Of course she had her insecurities about the legitimacy of this newfound relationship, but they weren't on bad terms. The last time she saw her mother, they didn't leave on a bad note. She really did love Shelby and wanted to make up for lost times, even if it meant doing something as childish as holding her mother's hand.

Shelby could have cried tears of relief at such a simple act. She gave Rachel's hand a squeeze of reassurance. This was yet another glimpse of how things could have been if she had been able to raise her baby girl from the beginning. "Where to?" Shelby asked with a teary-eyed expression.

"I don't care," Rachel shrugged. " Anywhere is fine with me. I know an ice cream place a few blocks down that's close to my apartment. It's open 24 hours."

"That sounds good to me," Shelby replied.

A few moments of comfortable silence passed until Rachel finally broke it. "I used to be a vegan, you know," she stated, not exactly knowing where the randomness of the statement came from. "From the time I was in grade school up until last year I wouldn't even eat ice cream unless it was vegan."

Shelby chuckled, "you definitely didn't get that from me."

Rachel beamed a smile back at her mother. She loved learning about her genetics and where her personality, habits, and beliefs came from. It was nice to have the final piece of the gene puzzle standing right next to her. "It's not that I don't care about the poor animals anymore, I do, but I was losing a bunch of weight and the doctor said I needed to make changes in my diet to be healthy. I still don't eat meat, but I'm on all of these supplements and it's really annoying. It's worth it though."

"It's great that you're so passionate about it. You're a very passionate person in general, it's one of the things I love most about you," Shelby stated, causing her daughter to smile yet again. A sigh escaped Shelby's mouth. "New York is beautiful." She scanned her surroundings at all of the flashing lights, and tall buildings. It never got old.

"It's the only place that truly feels like home," Rachel agreed. "How come you left before and came back to Ohio? Was it money?"

"To be honest, my heart wasn't with Broadway anymore…as much as I wanted to be a star, my heart was with you. It always has been since you started growing inside me. I wanted to keep you so badly, but I knew I couldn't, so my new goal was to make a family of my own in Ohio where I could also be close to you…but then there were some complications, and it's a long story that I'd love to share with you one day," Shelby explained as they reached the door of the ice cream shop.

Rachel could tell there was something deeper to the story than her mother was letting on, so she didn't press the issue. Instead she dropped Shelby's hand and opened the door getting in line. Both ordered and Shelby slapped her debit card on the counter before Rachel could pay for hers. "Are you sure?" Rachel asked.

"I insist."

"Thank you," Rachel replied graciously as they took their ice cream to a table. There were a few people in the shop, but not many, as it was well after midnight. "Shelby, that's so gross."

"What?" Shelby laughed as Rachel glared at her mother's ice cream with a scrunched up, disgusted face. "It's pistachio."

"It's green."

Shelby groaned, teasingly. "Just try it." She scooped up a spoonful and handed it to Rachel.

The smaller girl hesitantly took the spoon from her mother's hand and brought it to her nose to smell before even considering tasting it. Finally, she brought the spoon to her opened lips and allowed herself to swallow the cold treat. "Okay this is amazing," she announced before digging the spoon back in for another bite.

"Alright, you can take my ice cream but at least give me my spoon back," Shelby playfully whined.

Rachel blushed and handed the spoon back to her mother. "Sorry, sorry, I just never get anything other than cookie dough because it's so good that I could never imagine anything being better! But _this_ is better."

Shelby couldn't help but smile at her daughter's adorable rambling. "It's fine, baby, really. Take more, I won't eat all of this."

The little diva happily took Shelby up on the offer. "This is so fun," she mumbled, mouth full of ice cream.

"Ice cream?" Shelby questioned.

"No, I mean hanging out with you," Rachel shyly stated. "I like hanging out with you."

Shelby's eyes welled with tears for what seemed like the millionth time in 24 hours. "Well I'll always be around to hang out as long as you want me."

Rachel seemed satisfied with this answer. "So how's Broadway daycare?"

"It's rewarding. Kids can be really shy and insecure, and it helps to build their confidence. Especially kids around Beth's age are really eager to impress and make you happy so while their attention spans aren't as good as the older kids' during songs or acting exercises, they give it their all."

"That sounds amazing," Rachel replied, intrigued. "I wish I had something like that when I was younger. Then again, I was so busy with dance and vocal lessons anyway…"

"I'm glad you had all of those opportunities when you were younger," the ex-glee coach said looking down at her ice cream that was almost gone. "You have great dads who go above and beyond. That's why I always thought you didn't need me. How could you want more?" Shelby felt so insecure about the situation. Her natural instinct was to push, but she didn't want to this time.

Rachel took her mother's hand in her own. "Stop beating yourself up, Shelby. There's a place for you too. You're important."

Shelby gave Rachel's hand a squeeze before taking the last bite of her ice cream. "That means a lot, baby girl. Thank you. You're too forgiving…on another note, you should stop by the daycare sometime. The kids would love to meet you, and you could see what it's all about."

"I'd love to!" Rachel replied finishing her own ice cream. "We should probably get going though. As much as I love this, I have two shows tomorrow…"

"Of course. I can walk you home and then catch a cab back to my place if that's okay with you. I don't want you to walk by yourself this late."

"That's fine," the younger girl replied getting up to throw her cup away with Shelby close behind. "You'll be okay going home by yourself?"

"Yeah, the cab can pull right up to my apartment building, and it's well lit. I had to look into those safety precautions being a single mother in New York City."

They walked out the door and Shelby followed Rachel around the corner to an apartment building that didn't look like it was made for Broadway's biggest star. Surely the girl could afford something better than this. It wasn't bad, and looked much like Shelby's first apartment in NYC but it was in a dark, sketchy area, and that worried her. "Do you live alone?"

"Yeah," Rachel replied. "I'm looking to move once my lease is over in two months and my contract is expired. I used to live with Kurt and Santana but they moved out and are kind of doing their own thing. It gets lonely, but it's been home and it's temporary."

Shelby wanted nothing more than to insist Rachel move in with her until the lease was over, but she was lucky enough to get her daughter to agree to meet with her. She didn't want to overstep more than she probably already was. It could potentially be something to bring up, but not now.

"Thank you so much for meeting with me, Rachel."

"Thanks for seeking me out…and for apologizing. Don't be a stranger, okay?" Rachel asked, sadness clearly in her voice; _Please don't leave me again_ on the tip of her tongue.

"I won't," Shelby insisted, voice breaking. "Please text or call, anything, whenever you want. I love you baby. I really love you."

She pulled her daughter into a hug and held her tight. Rachel loved the comforting smell of her mother. It made her feel as though somehow everything would be okay. Things would finally be okay.

They released their hug, but not before Shelby placed a chaste kiss on Rachel's forehead. Shelby got a cab, and opened the door to get in.

"Text me when you get back so I know you're safe," Rachel said making her mother turn around.

"I will, pretty girl," she got in and with that, was gone. Rachel's heart felt so full, yet so empty.

**I'm so sorry this took so long! I don't know why this chapter kicked my butt, but it did. Writer's block, I guess! Anyway, I love you guys, please review and let me know what you think. Also if you have any prompt ideas for future Shelby/Rachel stories, please let me know!**


End file.
